iPod, more like i(t)Sucks

The iPod is responsible for saving Apple from obliteration and re-instating it as the desirable fruit in the technology market. I on the other hand consider the iPod the forbidden fruit that mainstream society has taken a bite out of. It is a technological breakthrough…if you live under a rock! I consider it as just another piece of unnecessary crap. It’s a little tool designed by Steve Jobs to capture the funds of teens or let’s be honest here, their parents’ cash. I can not tell you how many people I see each day listening to their iPods. The real question is, “Who doesn’t have an iPod?” The iPod has become a major necessity to everyone. If you don’t have it, you’re a loser, an outcast; you’re a disgrace! Once you get your own iPod, you’ve just conformed and became Steve’s bitch, or shall I say, Steve’s “iBitch!”
So what is it about the iPod that makes me churn inside? For one, the iPod has forty Gigabytes of memory. Does anyone actually have that much music, and if they do, how many songs do they regularly listen to? To be generous, let’s say about a hundred songs. Is it possible to listen to all the songs before the batteries run out? No! Once you get your iPod, you have that feeling, “I must fill this baby up with as much music as I can!” Next thing you know, you have the RIAA suing your ass because you downloaded and ripped too many songs to your iPod.
It is a marvel how many people are into the iPod. Its sleek design makes it so desirable. You cry and whine to your parents, just hoping they will get it for you – but it’s an mp3 player. Why would you pay a couple hundred dollars for it? All that matters is if it looks good or not. If a cell phone looked that good, you’d probably pay a hundred bucks just to have it. The iPod looks so cool, but it stands out due to its bright white colour. Just by wearing the headphones, you become an instant target to thieves. They know you have it, and they’ll obviously take it from you. You might as well tape a sign to your back reading, “Hey I have an iPod, come and steal it from me!”
I have to hand it to Steve Jobs though. He has chewed up the iPod and spit it back out to make it look brand new. He just adds little features to it and voila! A new iPod. Now there are many different iPods, each one with one more additional feature than the last. There is the new iPod Video which has video playback capabilities, but soon enough, you’ll have the MPAA on your ass as well for downloading and ripping movies to your iPod.
As technically revolutionizing as it may seem, it's still a piece of crap. The batteries last for about three years and it is a major hassle trying to replace them. What a sound investment that is. It’s easier to buy another iPod.
Once you realize the iPod isn’t as revolutionizing as they say, it just becomes yesterday’s news. Apple has gotten lucky on this waste of space but their fortunes will decline. Soon the iPod will become yesterday’s news and by then everyone will have one. As for those “iBitches” out there, you know your going to get the latest iPod, no matter what feature it has. Honestly, what does the iPod do? It plays media, that’s it. Get over it. It’s just an unnecessary piece of crap!

Does Sex Sell? Ask Gatorade

How a marketing agent was able to link advertising with sex, well that person was a genius. It is all about the sex appeal, the shock factor, the thing that makes everyone’s draw drop as they see it. Gain their attention! That is how you get the job done in marketing. Everyone has seen how using hot, beautiful women in scantily clad women, or even almost naked. You know it’s for the guys and surprisingly a lot of women find it appealing and sexy. Sex, its how we see it. It gains our attention and makes us happy, some more than others we know that’s true. Some marketing campaigns really show without subtly the use of sex appeal, and for some, well you need a dirty mind to understand what the ad is about.

So as I was drinking a bottle of Gatorade today, I noticed how phallic looking it is which then struck my mind. Gatorade does use sex to sell its product. It never came to me when I was watching the commercials, looking at the bottles, drinking the oh so sweet nectar of energy, but I have to say it does. If you actually look at all the bottles they sell they do awfully look like some phallic type of object…that a lot of people have. Well, all boys have it, you know the penis. It just blew my mind while I was drinking the bottle of Gatorade, and I even almost choked to death from the semen…I mean Gatorade. Its so well done, the head of the bottle looks like the head of the penis, how they make the bottles with twist off spouts where you can squeeze the drink into your mouth or even suck it out. The bottle even conforms to the average person’s hand, so its comfortable while you drink (for some of the bottles, more like Gatorade Rain and X-factor bottles). Oh man, just thinking back now at all those commercials and how Gatorade uses the athletes. They are all sweating, they grab a bottle and splash all the semen..I mean Gatorade all over the faces and bodies. They even make the Gatorade stand out making it brighter so you can see it clearly, splashed all over their faces. Running, dripping down their bodies, yea its very weird when you think about it now.

Well, now after thinking about how Gatorade uses its phallic bottles to and ‘obscene’ advertisements, well now I can’t see another Gatorade bottle the way I used to see it. All I see now…well yeah…eeeeeewwwww!