He can dodge not one but TWO shoes thrown at him by an Iraqi journalist. It seems to be the only good thing he has been good at since he stole the spotlight of winning the American presidential election. Oh there’s also the fact that he did a good job at screwing pretty much almost everyone in America, but lets not talk about that now. What is amazing about this whole ordeal is WHERE THE HELL WAS HIS SECRET SERVICE?
The outgoing president of the United States made a surprise farewell visit to Iraq on Sunday the fifteenth of December to talk about…well no one really cared about what Bush was talking about after the journalist threw his shoes at him. He did not just throw one shoe, he threw BOTH of his shoes at Bush. He threw both the left shoe and the right shoe and Bush was able to dodge those shoes pretty well just like the draft. People in the Western world think, why would he throw his shoes at him, someone could have sneaked in a gun and tried to assassinate Bush. Well it turns out that in Iraq’s culture, showing one’s sole of a shoe means great disrespect. Even worse is throwing your shoes at the person. It is Just like ‘flipping the bird’ or saying, “That’s not what your mom said last night. OOOOHHHHH BURNNNN!” The name of the Iraqi journalist is Muntadar al-Zaidi who stood up and he shouted to Bush, “This is a goodbye kiss from the Iraqi people,” and he threw his shoes at him. Obviously it has made news headlines around the world and in less than a week the video has been posted on Youtube and been watched over five million times. That has to be a record!
The problem that seems to have been overlooked was, WHERE THE HELL WAS THE SECRET SERVICE? I’m pretty sure a couple of agents of the Secret Service are always with Bush at all times, especially when he goes to a country he “invaded.” Aren’t they supposed to be behind him or beside him too? It took the journalist about four seconds to throw both his shoes before anyone actually stood up and wrestled him to the ground but it was not the secret service. Other journalists got up and wrestled him to the ground and yet still no one tried to protect Bush. Four seconds, that is a pretty slow response time for bodyguards who trained practically half their lives (well maybe a year or two at least) to protect pretty much the most important person in the United States. They’re also supposed to sacrifice themselves in order to save their primary, yet no one dove in front of Bush during the whole ordeal. It would have been funny though jumping in front of the person you’re protecting just to get hit by a stinky shoe. A few seconds after Muntadar threw his shoes, the Secret Service came in and crowded the podium. What the hell were they doing outside of the room anyway? Well to stop any outside intruders but where was the Secret Service in the room? No where to be found that is. Come on guys, even though he is the worst president ever in America and has the lowest approval rate, he is still the president. If someone tried to attack him back in America, those agents would be all up in the perpetrator’s ass and take him down to the town. If this happened to Obama, there would have been considerable amount of outrage and controversy about the slow reaction time of the secret service agents assigned to protect “Renegade.” There would have been an investigation of how the accused was able to do this and all the major news networks would be all over just that part of the story, but since it is Bush we’ll just let that one slide.
Muntadar al-Zaidi now faces a fifteen year prison sentence for his efforts. He has become an international star though, a martyr is more befitting. There has been protests on the streets of Baghdad to release the journalist but unfortunately it will go ignored. He’s going to jail unless if those 200 lawyers who volunteered to be his attorneys are really good. Muntadar should get OJ Simpson’s attorney then for sure he would be free. As for Bush, well he’s just good at dodging shoes. Pokeballs on the other hand, he has to practice dodging those.
