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Norway Attacks – Just Ask for a dam boat!

July 26, 2011 Leave a comment

Just as much as everyone else in the world, I was glued to my television set watching the horrid events that happened in Norway. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, well, just go to a news website and for sure you it’s there. If you don’t see any mention of Norway but front page news of Amy Winehouse’s death, well…that’s not a news publication anymore. If you still can’t find it, search for: “Anders Behring Breivik”, who might I say in the first released photo of him, looked a lot Breiviklike a more built version of Julian Assange.
This is one of the world events that has actually hit close to home for some reason. I’m not exactly sure why but it’s most likely because I’m the same age as those kids who were killed. On Saturday, July 23, 2011. There was an explosion in Oslo, the capital city of Norway. The target, the office of the Prime Minister. Fortunately, Jens Stoltenberg was not present at the time of the bombing but seven unfortunate souls were caught in it. This happened around 15:30 and then Mr. Breivik took a ferry to Utoya island where disguised as a cop, killed so many innocent teenagers. At first, the death toll was around 90 but now it’s been lowered to 68 due to miscounting.

A problem I saw during all the news articles and reports that I read/watched over the internet was how slow the police were in taking action against this event. At first I thought, the police were too busy trying to sort out the matter of the whole bombing that took place but then I found out, this island is about an hour and a half away from the capital so there should be a police force somewhere nearby. In fact, there is but guess what? It took them an hour and a half to get there. HOW?!?!?!!
WHAT?!?!?!?! THE!?!?!?!? FUCK!?!?!?!!? how did that happen? North Buskerud police chief Sissel Hammer explained why. When they got to the edge of the lake, they could not go to the island because they did not have a boat. Alright ok, so they called in SWAT who had a boat to go in but that took seventeen minutes. I’m pretty sure at least ten people died in that time. Also on top of that, they could not fly there because they did not have a helicopter, alright makes sense. But wait, I saw pictures of Mr. Breivik killing unarmed teenagers from a bird’s eye view. So who had the helicopter? Locals were too frustrated with the lack of boats the police had so they used their own boats to save the children. What I do not understand is, why the hell did the police not ask for the boats? AND WHY DID THEY NOT GET THAT HELICOPTER?!?! ASK THEM FOR MOAR BOATS AND A HELICOPTER WHOEVER HAS IT. DON’T WAIT FOR SWAT!

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New Karate Kid’s Trailer Ruins the Movie

December 24, 2009 1 comment

Not that many people have heard about this movie but after watching Sherlock Holmes which comes out on December 25th, everyone will know about it. I am pretty sure the trailer for this movie will be in the set for Sherlock Holmes. The first trailer for the upcoming remake of The Karate Kid was released yesterday on Yahoo Movies. I had the chance to watch it and I was very excited…until I found out it was set in China. The most obvious reason for me to watch the movie is Jackie Chan, he plays Mr. Miagi or win this remake, Mr. Han. I do not mind this name change anyway. When I first heard the news that they were remaking this 80’s classic with Jackie Chan as the sensei, I nearly did a back-flip…as all us ninjas do. I then found out, Jaden Smith will be playing Daniel but they renamed the character to Dre Parker which I find to be an odd name. I guess Will Smith is a fan of the doctah! I was kind of dumbfounded to here that Will Smith’s son got the part. It was out of left field and no one expected it; frankly, everyone expected a white teenager and not a 10 year old black kid. After trying to figure out how this kid who pretty much only has <a href = "http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0454921/&quot; The Pursuit of Happyness under his belt, I discovered that Jaden’s father, the almighty man in black, the Fresh Prince, Will Smith was behind the production of this movie. I completely understood the reasoning behind the casting. I’m skeptical about Jaden’s performance though. I really do not think he will do well in this role and the chemistry between him and Jackie will not really flourish. All that aside though, that still won’t stop me from watching the movie.

I had my sights on seeing the movie and then I saw the trailer. It was cool at first and kind of strange at the same time…and then the most dreadful thing happened. Jaden’s character, Dre and his family (get ready for this) MOVED TO CHINA. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Why would they movie to China? I do not really care the reasoning for them moving to China but I find the decision to have the movie set in China is a big mistake. The whole entire aura of the story and the main part of the story itself seems so out of place. Honestly, I don’t think Jackie Chan can save this by himself now. His other Hollywood movies kind of sucked, story wise and acting wise (especially Forbidden Kingdom where they casted a caucasion male as the lead role. It would have been SOOOOOOO MUCH better if they put in an Asian male as the lead, even half Asian would have been better than that white kid) but the fighting and stunts made up for it. In the case of the Karate Kid, it will not make up for it. Even the stunts and fights Jaden partakes in will not make up for it. I’m very concerned about the success of this movie because it has now been butchered up and Jackie Chan has been casted in a bad Hollywood movie…again. I’m pretty sure deep down inside, he regrets taking this role.

The trailer has given the viewer enough information to piece the story together. Dre’s family moves to China (for some reason, I will not understand) and he goes to school where he meets a cute girl he likes. This bully comes up to him and kicks his ass (multiple times) and then Jackie Chan comes in to save the day. Jackie Chan’s character, Mr. Han teaches Dre about Karate and enters him into a competition where no doubt he will somehow kick the bully’s ass. This would have been so much better if a caucasian male was the lead actor. Don’t get me wrong and everything, I’m pretty sure Jaden’s a great actor or will be but he just seems so out of place in the movie. Not just because he’s a black kid in China…well it’s mostly that but come on, how many black people do you see in China? He sticks out like a sore thumb (if that’s how that saying goes). There’s also another scene in the trailer where Mr. Han defends himself against the group of bullies and obviously kicks their ass. Even though it does not show that part in the trailer, I’m pretty sure he kicked their ass. Now there is the part where the families could go and sue Mr. Han for assaulting adolescent teens but that’s no fun and the movie will end right there. What a great half hour movie that was.

As I digress – I’m actually too mad to talk even more about this but I thought this movie had potential but watching the trailer set me back, way back. I would have much appreciated it if the movie was set in America. I’m pretty sure they wanted to emphasize how much of a loner/new kid Dre is by having the movie set in China and I’m pretty sure the Fresh Prince wanted to avoid the whole racism thing with white on black violence and vice versa but the whole thing about setting the movie in China ruins it for me and a lot of other people. I hope Jackie Chan’s skillz can help make this movie mediocre but I doubt it. I will still go to the theaters and watch this movie but I will set my expectations very low just to prepare for the absurdness that will be shown in front of my eyes. Oh yea, one more thing. It has been a while since I did my martial arts training but I do not think that was karate Mr. Han was teaching Dre.

Steve Phillips is Not David Letterman

October 26, 2009 Leave a comment

What a juicy news story this is. One of ESPN’s sports analysts, Steve Phillips just got the pink slip for having an affair with a 22-year-old production assistant. The production assistant in question is Brooke Hundley and from what I can tell from an image search over the web, she’s pretty hot in those bunny ears. On a closer inspection….yeaaaa, REALLY Steve Phillips?!?!

She filed a restraining order against apparently but it was withdrawn. Unfortunately, this debacle became public and Mr. Phillips got the boot. Unfortunately he is not as valuable to ESPN as Letterman is now.

This story leads me to my next question. Would CBS have fired David Letterman for his incident if Jay Leno was still around on late night television? Probably. Ever since Leno left the late night spot light, Letterman and CBS has taken control of the ratings and will not let go. Letterman was smart, he decided to go public and air his dirty laundry. This controversy obviously put an even tighter grip on ratings and made headlines everywhere. Once he went public, EVERYONE started watching his show. Since he is so valuable now as the number one host of late night television, CBS would not dare to fire him or NBC would take back control of late night. By firing Letterman, CBS would have to find a new host to sub in for him. They could go with Ferguson but someone needs to take his spot and I hate to say this but Craig Ferguson is not as popular as David Letterman. They would have to do casting calls and everything and they would lose all the revenue that David Letterman created, that it was just not worth it firing him. CBS gets to save a six figure salary + benefits, but that’s nothing compared to the seven figure sponsorship they get from companies/corporations.

ESPN on the other hand is already the most famous sports channel on television right now and they pretty much almost have a monopoly on the sports television industry so these guys could afford the risk and fire Steve Phillips. It’s unfortunate, because I liked the guy but he’s not as hot as Jennifer Hedger.

Inglorious Basterds: A Review

August 22, 2009 Leave a comment

Yesterday was the first time in a long time that I saw a movie on opening day. I think the last time was when X-Men 2 came out. With an expectation that the theatre will be full, my friends and I grabbed a seat at the back an hour before the movie started. Of course it was empty and pretty much stayed empty until fifteen minutes before the movie started. I had my doubts about this movie. I kind of wanted to watch it but overall it seemed like a movie that I would not enjoy and a movie that I would not want to see again. Quentin Tarantino surprised me though, overall it was actually a pretty good movie. I would say it is his best film since Pulp Fiction, of course I actually have not seen all of Pulp Fiction so I can not say that it is as good haha.

The movie revolves around eight Jewish-American men lead by Brad Pitt’s character, Lt. Aldo Reins Tennessee native. Their mission, to brtually kill any Nazis they find to spread fear and crazy rumors across the Third Reich, like the ‘Bear-Jew’. The company’s objective is to make sure every Nazi soldier hears about them and become so afraid of the rumors that every time they go into battle, they think they are fighting against the Basterds.

I expected the movie to be action packed with crazy stunts and a lot of gun fights but unfortunately I was let down by Mr. Tarantino. There are not that many gun fights and the only action scene is at the end. I can not be surprised though as Mr. Tarantino is not known for making action movies like Michael Bay. With Tarantino, the movie is more about the talk and the dialogue. While watching the movie, I did not really care fo the plot. It’s pretty much like every other WWII movie, try to end the war but there is a twist at the end of the movie that is unlike the other WWII movies you have seen. What really surprised me though is the dialogue and the writing, this movie has one of the best dialogue that I have ever scene in quite a long time. I loved the fact that the characters speak in different languages other than English. I hate it when I see these kinds of movies only to see everyone talking English…like in Valkyrie. I don’t think EVERY German knew how to speak perfect English. The setting was in France, and I was really surprised the movie had Germans speaking French. Pretty much the only time you hear English is in the first chapter and when the Basterds are talking.

By the way, the storyline is segregated into five chapters (I think). Each chapter is pretty much a story on its own but the audience does not get lost. There are two stories that the movie revolves around, the Basterds and the French Jew who owns the Cinema. Everyone knows the Basterds and their storyline; kill as many Nazis as they can find and cut the scalps from their heads off. The other movie which the audience does not see in the trailers is this French woman who owns a cinema and is reluctantly forced into hosting a premiere for a biopic movie on one of the greatest German war heroes ever. This war hero was trapped in a bird’s nest for three days and he picked off about three hundred American soldiers. Coincidentally, the soldier who plays himself in the movie is attracted to the French woman and tries everything to make her love him. He even has his movie premiere at her theatre. Everyone’s seen this device in story telling; there are multiple stories going on and in the end they all converge on each other to make a spectacular ending. That’s what this movie is, two separate stories and in the end they come together. What’s amusing to me though is that none of the Basterds and the French woman do not meet so it makes the whole ending like a coincidence and not like those other stories where all the characters in separate storeis meet each other at the end.

If you aren’t a stickler for historical fiction, then you’d be fine with the ending as they successfully assassinate Hitler. I didn’t spoil the movie for you because Hitler’s assassination takes a back seat to the main story line. That’s just a bonus Tarantino put in but no one expects it because we all think that the movie would follow historical fiction. There are some gory scenes that people in the theatre were evidently disgusted by. The whole scalping of the dead Nazis thing, everyone could see their brains. They made it so easy though, when the Basterds were scalping their Nazi counterparts, it was like slicing a hot knife through butter. They cut it so easily but it makes me wonder though as if they were scalping them, they would have to cut through bone in order to see the brains and that would be really hard to do with just a knife.

The movie was really great up until the ending. I did not like the ending nor did I understand why the main antagonist did what he did. Hitler’s not the main antagonist in this movie. The Jew Hunter as they nick name him is the main antagonist. Unfortunately this movie is like a lot of Tarantino’s movies where EVERYONE dies. This is pretty much at the ending but I was puzzled as to why though because for some of the characters that died, they could have easily avoided the confrontation but they chose not to and in the end they go on a suicide run…whichw as pretty much the plan in the first place. My only beef with this movie is the ending because it seems like a slap in the face if you ask me with what happened. All together though, I enjoyed the movie. It was refreshing to see it, you just have to not be bored by like two hours of dialogue and only about half an hour of action which comes at the end. Unfortunately, this is one of those movies where that I would not want to see again; it is not for me.

Between Inglorious Basterds and District 9, I would choose District 9. Mainly because District 9 is one of those movies that make you think.

A Review of GI-Joe: It Wasn’t That Bad

August 8, 2009 Leave a comment

Seriously, GI-Joe The Rise of Cobra Commander was not a terribly bad movie at all. It must have been the fact that I lowered my expectations of the movie before seeing it but still it’s not one of those movies where you ask for your money back ten minutes in. The movie has garnered quite a bit of negative press since the first test screenings and most likely will be the biggest box office bomb in the summer of 2009. Possibly the biggest bomb in all of 2009 but let’s not get ahead of ourselves. The bad press this movie has gotten has ranged from the director Stephen Sommers getting fired to receiving the lowest score in <a href = "http://nymag.com/daily/entertainment/2009/06/gi_joe_looking_like_a_bomb_of.html&quot; “>test screening history. Even the actors are not confident in the movie and are probably already shunning their work. In a couple of years when you ask Channing Tatum about behind the scenes of the movie his response will be, “GI-Who?” Even Paramount, the studio behind the movie is trying to shy it away from the spotlight. As you can read in this article they did not screen this movie to critics in fear of getting even more bad reviews.

I don’t really care about the bad buzz this movie has gotten in the past few months because the only reason why I wanted to watch this movie was to see Ray Park kick ass as Snake Eyes. I went yesterday which was opening day to see how terrible it was and to my surprise, it wasn’t that bad. There were a few good things the movie had to offer like Sienna Miller and one of my favourite actors, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and…well alright, the movie did not have a lot to offer. It was pretty much riddled with one bad idea after another but the action kind of made up for it.

What I hated most about the movie are all the freakin’ flash backs I had to watch to get the background of the story. Fans of GI-Joe would already be familiar with the characters but I am not a fan of GI-Joe so I don’t really know much about any of them. The whole entire flashback ordeal was pretty much like an episode of Lost. You know in pretty much almost all the episodes of Lost, they put in all these random flashbacks to give you a background of what the episode is about and then they can introduce another stupid plot twist? Yea it’s exactly like that and they don’t even make the transition from the present to the past subtle, they just just zoom into the character’s face and then the flashback starts. The way they transition it is so bad except for when they do Snake Eyes, that transition was alright.

I also didn’t like the random stupid one-liners said by the characters. They were really unnecessary and sometimes they just interrupted the mood. They’re not like those funny one-liners that Ryan Reynolds had in Blade III. I’m talking about those lines that state the obvious and then the other lines that re-inforce the obvious. It’s a good thing though they kept the comic relief to a minimum because I would have left the theatre if they had Ripcord (Marlon Wayons cracking all the jokes every five minutes.

The most important part of the movie which is the writing and the acting were terrible. We all know it but who really cares about that when we know this is an action movie and we know this movie will suck. I certainly did not care about it. You can figure out the entire story within the first ten minutes of the movie when the commandos get attacked by the Baroness. She is hot, I mean it is Sienna Miller but she really has to take more acting classes because she can’t play the bad guy. The whole entire repenting thing that she does at the end of the movie to save Duke’s life was very surprising. I did not know how bad the acting could get until I saw Sienna Miller switch sides. It basically goes like this: The Baroness captures Duke and then they take Duke away to turn him into a nano-tech warrior that is controlled by the doctor (aka Cobra Commander) but as she sees them taking Duke away, we see flashbacks of her and Duke making out and being in love. After about thirty seconds of these flashbacks, she switches sides and saves Duke’s life. WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?!?!?! Come on that has got to be the worst acting ever and also worst writing ever. It would have been better if Duke kissed her and then she started getting all these flashbacks and what not. Anyways, to make it more plausible, turns out she was injected with nanites so she wasn’t doing all these bad things willingly. Once you get past the terrible acting and the bad writing, I guess all you can hope for are the action sequences which were alright. I know that many people didn’t like the trailer when they saw the Joes being suited up with accelerator suits but those suits were used in only one scene and that was the Paris scene when the Eiffel tower gets destroyed. That was the only time those suits were used and thank God it was the only time (unfortunately that was about twenty minutes).

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I was dissapointed with the amount of screen time Ray Park had. I was very excited to see Snake Eyes yield his sword like a pro but unortunately he was in only three cool scenes. The first fight with Storm Shadow, the Paris scene where he chases Storm Shadow and the Baroness, and the final showdown between him and Storm Shadow. The fighting was cool but there was not enough of it. There was like only like five minutes of actual fighting between the two and there wasn’t anything really cool about it like in Episode I as Ray Park kicked ass as Darth Maul. They should have given them a more epic fight scene or put Snake Eyes in a pit with like 100 cobra commandos and watch him work his dual sword magic.

I was really unsure of the plotline too. The Baroness being Cobra Commander’s sister…I thought she was his wife or something like that. Also, Duke had a relationship with the Baroness before she turned into a bad guy? Really? Did that happen in the original series? Ripcord has a thing for Scarlett and always puts the moves on her?
Even the storyline with Snake Eyes I was unsure of. It was the least realistic storyline as it seems like Snake Eyes was a homeless white boy in Japan. How does that happen? An homeless white boy in Japan. The rest of that storyline is good though. He takes a vow of silence after his master is killed by another student whom was Storm Shadow. They were both pupils of the same master but turns out their master liked the white boy better and Storm Shadow got pissed, so he killed him.

Well I guess you can say hat this movie was bad, but it wasn’t terribly bad. You just have to dumb yourself down to a very low level to enjoy this I guess. The action was pretty much the only thing that kind of saved this movie. Just like Transformers 2: Revenge of the Fallen. If you liked that movie, then I guess you wouldn’t hate GI-Joe. They’re both action packed films where the acting/writing take a back seat. Also, do NOT get me started on Dennis Quaid as General Hawk…just don’t.

Ryan Reynolds is Green Lantern

July 11, 2009 Leave a comment

Ryan Reynolds has just won the top spot as the new Green Lantern in Warner Brothers’ film of the same name coming out in the near future. Many fans have rejoiced once they found out Mr. Reynolds was chosen to be DC Comic’s latest movie hero, well only Ryan Reynolds fans. I’m pretty sure Green Lantern fans are just crying in agony asking how Warner Brothers screwed this movie up already. I mean, I like Ryan and he’s a pretty funny guy. I’ve seen almost all the movies he has been in and he’s been great in his roles, especially in ‘Two Guys, a Girl, and a Pizza Place’. What I will not be able to understand is how on earth is DC and WB going to make a Green Lantern movie with him. Practically almost all of his roles he has been in from television to movies have always been comedic. I’m pretty sure he’s been typecasted a lot because people see him as the funny guy or the comedic relief. I mean he is funny but sometimes he seems so out of place in some of his movie roles. The best example is Blade 3. He worked hard to get that chiseled body but for a movies series that has been adapted from a comic book that delves with vampires and death, comedic relief did not seem necessary. He always had those smart ass one liners and for the first few lines he spoke, it was alright but once you realize he just does it for the whole entire movie…it kind of ruins the serious aura of the movie. He also starred as Deadpool in X-men Origins: Wolverine and the quirky comments he has about his commander are pretty funny but they are not necessary. It is a good thing that he was only in the movie for the first five minutes or else the lines he had to say would pretty much ruin it for everyone. Could you imagine Wolverine finding out that his wife dies and then Deadpool starts yackin’ away making jokes? Oh…that was a spoiler but do not worry, what I said is not exactly spoiler worthy.
As a serious actor though, I can’t really say he has the skillz to pull it off but he’s got a lot of time to practice on that before the Green Lantern starts production. He was alright in Smokin’ Aces and better in Amityville Horror but that’s as serious as it gets. Chaos Theory was a little below average but there is comedy in there so let’s not count that.

I just hope that Warner Bros feels that he can actually pull something off other than comedy because the Green Lantern is not supposed to provide comedic relief. Flash is most likely the one who will be doing that which a lot of people thought Ryan would be playing in an upcoming Flash or Justice League movie. If you look at Flash’s personality, he is the DC comic book hero that fits more with Mr. Reynolds and not the Green Lantern. Ryan has to step up his game and Warner Brothers and DC can not just rely on his comedic relief or else a lot or practically ALL of the Green Lantern fans would not watch a piece of shit movie with a piece of shit actor. I do not really know what WB and DC saw in Reynolds but so far in a lot of the comic book movies, the casting has been pretty solid. They just need a better story to work with and not fuck up all the story lines and comic book universe that everyone loves.

Stargate Universe = BSG

July 5, 2009 2 comments

At first I thought how Mr. Cooper and Mr. Wright will be writing Stargate Universe (SGU) to appease to a new market that they have never tried before. I am talking about the tweens or teenagers (The 13-15 year old kids who just know one thing and one thing only, sex) and I thought, ‘oh shit, it’s going to become Stargate 90210‘. I could not believe what the writers were going to do with this new series; they were going to taint the integrety of the entire series just so they could appeal to the teenagers who might I add that not many will actually know what Stargate is. It’s pretty much a cult series now and outside from the nerd/geek/comicon world, no one knows about it.

Well it is a good thing that I watched the trailer for the new show that will be premiering in the fall of 2009. I did not expect the new direction from the writers; I saw the trailer and I was amazed they did not fuck anything up. I even can’t believe they were able to get Lou Diamond Philips and Ming Na to sign on to the series (I’m going to watch it just for them 🙂 ). When I first read the announcement of SGU, I honestly thought that it would be like 90210 with all the love drama flying everywhere and the lieutenents and privates getting promiscuous with each other. The new trailers speak otherwise and I am glad that the show has not stooped down to that level but what I can not put my finger on is that the new direction that SGU is going in seems familiar…hmmm. I feel like I’ve seen this kind of editing and writing before…oh that’s right, I’ve seen it on Battlestar Galactica. Now I understand how Mr. Cooper and Mr. Wright will cater to the tweens, they will use BSG as a template…very interesting but really? I’m pretty sure now they will rip off BSG to write the episodes of SGU. If you look at the trailer, you can definitely see that SGU is went off on a tangent from the previous two series SGA and SG-1. Those two shows were all about just beat the enemies and save the day. There was no room for much personal character development and the only drama present was, ‘how do we defeat the wraith (or Goa’uld)?’ Of course, SGU will have that same drama but they will make A LOT more room for character development and put in a couple of love stories just like what they did in BSG. If you pay attention to the scenes in the trailer, you can definitely tell that the show is darker and I don’t mean that they are in a ship without lights on but it seems like the show is darker and more confrontational. I’m pretty sure BSG was like that, no? You know how Starbuck kept on gettin all crazy with everyone and picking fights with them, It’s going to be just like that.

I like the new direction that SGU will be heading in but I can’t help to think that the new SGU will be just like BSG. It’s going to be cool putting a BSG spin on the Stargate series but they would have to make it more subtle. For one, they could change the entire setting. The new SGU exploration team ends up on an old ship and that is their mode of transportation (other than the Stargates). No WAI, that’s just like BSG. The remaining survivors of the genocide are on ships trying to find their way home. It’s their only mode of transportation and that is the setting of the series. Everything happens in the ships and outside the ships when the cylons attack. I’m excited for the series though and I really do not mind if the writers, producers, and director(s) write SGU with a dash of BSG in it. It will be fun and entertaining and I really don’t think that it will cause a lot of problems with the fans. It’s going to be so cool! I can’t wait until the Fall…well I can because I do not want to go back to school.